10

i am still in such disbelief about the fact that i have a 10 year old... a tall, skinny and beautiful 10 yearold. she is just one head shorter than me and i always tell her that she is going to outgrow me before she starts 7th grade! she agrees :)
10 years ago i experienced one of the most excrusiating pain in my life, and then suddenly she was here. i was so suprised that she was acctually a she :) i was positive that we were going to have a boy, so positive that we hadn´t even talked much about girl-names! so, while i was in a nice morphine coma her dad decided on the name Stina. Not Kristina, just Stina. and i agreed, but i had to write the name up on a piece of paper by my bedide because for the life of i couldn´t remember the name! ha!



nowadays she is making motherhood really challenging for me. or maybe it is not her, maybe it is me? i mean this mothering thing might be the most difficult thing i have ever tried my hands on! people might say that i would be all on top of that since i work with kids professionally, to those i say: well, i might like the kids i work with, but my daughter is the love of my life! it is just that, the love and emotional bit of the problem that acctually makes the problem. you just want to make everything right and not disapoint her, but sometimes life stings and she has to learn that too. it is so hard raising a girl; i want her to be strong and confident, nice and a good friend, but at the same time i don´t want anyone to walk all over her and take advantage of her niceness. i want to teach her that she is the soule owner of her body and that no means no. i want to teach her that education is so very important. i want her to know that she can come to me with everything.
how come that we are just supposed to know how to do that automatically when we become parents?



happy birthday, my favorite girl!